A friend pregnant with her first child recently asked me how much labor hurts, her voice dropping to a scared whisper and her hands clutching the sofa arms in anticipation of the scream-at-the-top-of-your-lungs pain portrayed in the movies. I couldn’t lie – childbirth is not exactly a walk in the park. Yet with the help of medication and adrenaline and the knowledge you’re going to be rewarded with a beautiful baby, it’s also not the worst pain in the world either. In fact, there are things that happen after having the baby that can hurt even more than childbirth, causing the kind of pain that can linger for months or years…
10 Things That May Hurt Even More Than Childbirth
10. Your freezer breaking down, making you lose 50 bags of frozen breast milk (which also equals 25 hours of pumping and three gallons of milk). Oh yeah, that hurts.
9. A woman asking when you are due – six months after you actually gave birth. Talk about a bruised ego.
8. Your baby doing an explosive poop while you’re out running errands – at which point you realize you forgot the diaper bag. The sting of your nose and your baby’s behind: ouch.
7. The amount of money you have to put away for your kid’s college tuition. Which may cause you to feel sick to your stomach for, oh, another 20 years or so.
6. Your baby refusing to sleep through the night… for two years. Painful exhaustion.
5. Having to sing “Wheels on the Bus” four-hundred-thousand-times a day. Torture by children’s songs.
4. Losing your cell phone, only to realize you hadn’t backed up your photos for months. Buh-bye, picture of your son smiling for the first time – and hello, tears!
3. Taking a five-hour plane ride with your baby – and having her cry for four of those hours. If it’s not the stress of that situation causing an ulcer, then it’s the burning glares from other passengers searing a hole in your head!
2. A busybody telling you why you shouldn’t be breastfeeding/bottle-feeding/etc. Unsolicited parenting advice can cut to the core. Not to mention the pain of biting your tongue.
1. Realizing those markers your child used to write on the living room wall…were not, in fact, washable. The pain of childbirth only lasts for hours, but that scribble art is forever.