10 Things Never to Say to a Pregnant Woman

“Are you sure you’re not carrying twins? Ha, haaaa!”

When I was pregnant with the wee ones, I was taken aback by all of the unwelcome surprises. An inconveniently leaky bladder, for example. (R.I.P. Leather car seats.) A racing stripe down my stomach. (Vroom! Vroom! Waddling from 0 to two feet in one hour flat.) Breasts big enough to take over for the Himalayas should they be unable to fulfill their duties as the world’s biggest mountain peaks.

And yet, perhaps nothing was as unwelcome as the unsolicited comments I received from friends, family and strangers alike. Comments that inspired this list of:

Top 10 Things Never to Say to a Pregnant Woman.

10. “You’re obviously due any day now!”

9. “Boy, you look tired.” (Meaning: You look awful.)

8. “Was it planned?”

7. “BEEP! BEEP!” (“Jokingly” said by my husband as I was backing up. *Ahem*)

6. “Mind if I grope your belly?” (Just kidding! Most people don’t ask for permission before they grope you.)

5. “Sure there aren’t twins in there?”

4. “You don’t really want the stuff on your baby registry, do you?”

3. “Enjoy your last few months of freedom/sleep/what-have-you. Because once the baby’s here it’s ALL OVER!”

2. “Anything yet? It seems like you’ve been pregnant FOREVER.”

1 . “You really shouldn’t…drink caffeine/exercise/sit in a hot bath/etc.” Because you find once you become pregnant, everyone is an expert.